You think I'm a lame duck
I don't give a blue f***
I'm living like crazy
driven to be lazy
I blush like a tomato
pale as a chipped potato
you're a real peach
just out of reach
We're all cooking the same goose
a recipe of fiction
I stew in my own juice
in another kitchen
You think I'm a lame duck
I don't give a blue f***
I don't give two hoots
you're too big for your bossy boots
Yeah - well - I say what I mean
I say what comes to my mind
I never get around to things
I live a straight - straight line
You know me - I'm acting dumb
you know the scene - very humdrum
boredom - boredom
I'm living in this movie
but it doesn't move me
I'm the man that's waiting for the phone to ring
Hear it ring-a-ding-a-f***ing-ding
You know me ...
You see there's nothing behind me
I'm already a has-been
my future ain't what it was
well I think I know the words that I mean
You know me ...
B'dum - b'dum
I've taken this extravagant journey
so it seems to me
I just came from nowhere
and I'm going straight back there
You know me ...
So I'm living in this movie
but it doesn't move me
so tell me who are you trying to arouse?
get your hands out of my trousers
You know me ...
If I seem a little jittery I can't restrain myself
I'm falling into fancy fragments - can't contain myself
I'm gonna breakdown - breakdown yes
Now I can stand austerity but it gets a little much
when there's all these livid things that you never get to touch
I'm gonna breakdown ...
I feel me brain like porridge coming out of me ears
and I was anticipating reverie
I've taken leave of me senses - and I'm in arrears
my legs buckle over - I'm living on my knees
I'm gonna breakdown ...
Whatever makes me tick it takes away my concentration
sets my hands a-trembling - gives me frustration
I'm gonna breakdown ...
So I hear that two is company for me it's plenty trouble
though my double thoughts are clearer now that I am seeing double
I'm gonna breakdown ...
Oh mum can I grow out of what's too big for me?
I'll give up that ghost before it gives up me
I wander loaded as a crowd - a nowhere wolf of pain
Living next to nothing - my nevermind remains
I'm gonna breakdown ...
Gonna have to cut you down to size
you're running out of style
I'm gonna kit you out
with a subterranean profile
don't you push me too far
it's gonna be bad for your health
you'll wind up just a friend
to the ghost of your former self
Don't mess me round
don't you mess me round
you put me down
don't mess me round
Any more of your mouth
and we'll both see red
I'll pin your bottom lip
to the top of your head
you've got too much talkie-talkie
don't say one more thing
I'll make your insides look
like a Jackson Pollock painting
Don't mess me round ...
Rita spits out her laurel leaf
and grabs a piece of my pie
she's gonna lead me up the mountain path
as the crows fly
Claudette's pretty quick off the mark
like a polaris missile in heat
she smiles at a hundred miles an hour
and rushes you off your feet
There's all these friends of mine
they've got me suffering
they don't take a line
they keep me pissing adrenalin
Ratty is nearly unique
looks like a Pre-Raphaelite barb freak
wears dangerous jewellery
got a cast iron personality
Sandie wears an awful lot of silk
says she's a friend of Mr Acker Bilk
she's going out of my mind
wants to live on milk
There's all these friends of mine ...
I was musing on the pool outdoors
about foreign matters and fancy affairs
Betty trimmed my nails with pliers
while eating avocado pears
Norman's sobbing cos his make-up's
running away with itself
he's heading for an early grave
scared to death about the state of his health
There's all these friends of mine ...
Lester Sands has been working very hard
keeping up with what's gone down
Lester Sands is really in touch
with what is whose in town
Lester Sands bores the ass off me
Lester Sands is a big head case
I am getting so sick of the sight
of Lester Sands' face
He thinks he'll be someone someday (no way)
he thinks he'll get somewhere someway (no way)
Lester Sands is a drop in the ocean
He'd better pull himself together
do something speedy or else
Lester Sands will be shown the ropes
and Lester Sands will hang himself
Lester Sands big mouth extraordinaire
he's pulled a muscle in his head
Lester Sands strings words together
cos his senses have fled
He thinks ...
Lester Sands is a stupid f***er
Lester Sands will stay that way
Lester Sands just gathers his trash
and brings it round every day
Lester Sands - think you'd better scram
if you wanna get out alive
or are you looking to get friendly
with somebody's bunches of fives
He thinks ...
My mad love battery - wants to charge you
my mad love battery - could maybe enlarge you
my mad love battery - fizzing at the terminals
my mad love battery - is one helluva pack of an animal
My mad love battery - has to have us both
my mad love battery - don't allow for sleep or sloth
my mad love battery - never minces words
don't discharge flattery - so don't listen to what you've heard
I got sick electricity
on the boil for you
I got this searing love
which burns without cue
My mad love battery - is running out of control
my mad love battery - is gonna swallow us whole
my mad love battery - never minces words
don't discharge flattery - so don't listen to what you've heard
I got this crazy current
gets into my underwear
and when it really connects
I come and go everywhere
My mad love battery - wants to charge you
my mad love battery - could maybe enlarge you
my mad love battery - fizzing at the terminals
my mad love battery - is one helluva pack of an animal
You tried it just for once
and found it alright for kicks
but now you've found out
it's a habit that sticks
you're an orgasm addict
Sneaking in the backdoor
with dirty magazines
your mother wants to know
what are those stains on your jeans
you're an orgasm addict
You get in heat
you get in a sulk
but you still keep beating
your meat to pulp
you're an orgasm addict
You're a kid Casanova
you're no Joseph
it's a labour of love
f***ing yourself to death
you're an orgasm addict
You're making out with school kids
winos and heads of state
you've even made it with the lady
who puts the little plastic robins
on the Christmas cakes
butchers' assistants and bellhops
you've had ‘em all here and there
children of god
and the joy strings
international women with no body hair
So you're asking in an alley
and your voice ain't steady
the sex mechanic's rough
but you're more than ready
you're an orgasm addict
Johnny-want-f***ie
everywhere and all ways
he's got the energy
he will amaze
he's an orgasm addict
he's always at it
he's an orgasm addict
You know me cos I hang around the bicycle sheds
kicking over the traces in my fancy footwear
as I go wrecking and stealing
around Tiananmen Square
I'm a Peking hooligan
I'm a social problem
I'm a Peking hooligan
I just finished at the city schools
I don't want to go back to the fields
I paid no heed to Mao's words
I heard after every meal
I'm a Peking hooligan ...
I bin waiting in the supermarket
standing in line with the beans (cash up)
I bin waiting at the post office
for sticky pictures of the queen (stick up)
now I'm waiting for you
to get yourself good ‘n ready (make up)
thinking to myself is this what they mean
by going steady? (break up)
I bin waiting in the waiting room
and I've bin sitting in the sitting room
and now I'm whining in the dining room
waiting for you's like waiting for the man in the moon
I was really smouldering
seen the back of forty king size cigarettes (stood up)
this hanging on is murder
But if you'd just come along I'd have no regrets (give up)
and so I'd phone your number
and your mother tells me you're still in bed (get up)
when you come to the phone your voice is thick and sexy
goes straight to my head (shut up)
and I bin standing in the standing room
and I bin smoking in the smoking room
and now I'm dying in the living room
I'm gonna forget what 1 came for here real soon
Your time's up and me too
I'm out on account of you
I was really burned out and smouldering
seen the front and back of eighty king size cigarettes (stood up)
this hanging on is killing me
if you'd just creep along I'd have no regrets (give up)
and so I phone your grandmother
she says you're still in bed (get up)
when you get to the phone your voice is thick and sexy
shoots through the top of my head (shut up)
I bin standing in the standing room
I bin smoking in the smoking room
Now I'm dying in the living room
I'm gonna forget what I came for here real soon
Your time's up ...
Well I know it's the night
but have you gotta beat the daylights out of me
I'm getting so god-damned bruised
I'll soon be softer than a stoned cherry
And when you let your flesh creep over me
you know I don't know what's come over me
something about the way you drool and kiss
makes love seem nothing like this
You tear me up
you grab what's mine
you tear me up
every single time
you tear me up
what a hideous crime
you tear me up
you're a bloody swine
All this slurping and sucking
you know it's putting me off my food
you're noisier than a motorway
and about two times - three times as rude
You know you got such big eyes
they make me feel so small
my heart is only one mouthful
but you - you can have it all
You're just as hard as a pavement
and I don't know where my passion went
you think that maybe I could walk on you
you'd make a damned good anaesthetic - I'll say that for you
---------ShotByBothSides.com/buzlyrics.htm
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